It started a long, long, long time ago ... no, just kidding--it was over a year ago when I first became curious about Jesus. Growing up, he never had a solid presence in my life or the decisions that I made. My beliefs were shallow. I knew Jesus existed but my prayers were empty and selfish. I would say, "Lord give me a job" or when something tragic happened I would pray, “Lord please fix this". At the time I had not opened a bible and I wouldn't have been able to tell you the first book. At times I felt like I didn't belong in the house of God because his love was foreign to me. It wasn't until college that I decided to get to KNOW him.
My journey with Jesus begin my freshmen year in college. It was here that I met people who loved Jesus. I would ask myself, Who REALLY is Jesus? Why does everybody love him? Why do they worship him? I knew about religion but I did not know Jesus, and I did not know how to live my life for Christ. I was lost. My peers invited me to go to the university worship services; I also started going to church with friends. It was the first time I saw people passionately living their life for Christ. Although I did not personally know these people their actions and testimony inspired me. I was embarrassed by the fact I knew so little about the lord because I felt that I should have known more because of my age. Regardless of my ignorance, I kept seeking and pushing myself to develop a stronger relationship with my savior.
How Did God Get a Hold Of Me?
I was confused and insecure. At this time in my life, my purpose and vision did not align with the company I kept or my actions. Although I appeared to be a follower of Christ, the reality was I was lost and broken on the inside. I was battling World War Me- and losing.
It was in my dorm room when I heard God for the fist time. I was doing research for one of my classes and I came across the song “Fighting for Me” by Anthony Evans. This song spoke to my heart because it related to my current situation. It was God reaching out and calling me to him. This song reassured me that God was fighting for me and the battle was already won. I was worth the fight. God told me that I did not have to go on this journey alone because he had been there rooting for me the entire time.
God Never Gave Up On Me.
I had no Christian background. I had no church home. I did not have a preacher to look up to or any earthly/religious mentors guiding me. All I had was a desire in my heart to love Jesus. Then I fell in love. I fell in love with how much the Lord wanted me. How much he forgave me. How pure his heart is. I fell in love, and I fall in love every day just thinking about his grace and how much he has provided for me.
When I gave my life over to Jesus I was afraid. I was afraid of the unknown, but God taught me how to walk by faith. I challenge you to take the first step towards living a life that glorifies God. Pick up a bible, ask questions and never stop seeking.
"Trust in the lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
Photography by Loretta White